Where the Cash Flow (rubber) Meets the Road - TRUST

My wife and I live on a very meager budget. I'm a youth minister and she stays at home with our daughter. We know that she could work and we would have a lot more to go around - but we feel strongly that this is the life God is calling us to and that this is the type of lifestyle we want for our children. That being said - we live with less than most people and are fine living that way. Still, even living simply there isn't much left at the end of each month. We are constantly placing our trust in God - knowing that he will provide a way where there seems to be no way.

We believe strongly that God is calling us to trust him in all things and to know that he will indeed provide for our needs. Still, there is such difficulty in doing this when the rubber meets the road.

It is easy to place our trust in God on payday or when we get a nice tax return or I get a good speaking stipend, etc. It is when things get tight that it gets difficult. It is also ironic that it is always when things get tight that something unexpected happens and we have to rely on God to help us figure out where the funds for the latest "emergency" expenditure is going to come from.

The other irony is that every time I write or speak on Trust, I am thrown another situation in which I need to trust God even more with my life, my family, my job, or my finances. Last week I wrote a five part series on trust, based on retreats I've lead on trust.

In that series I spoke about tragedy and loss and how it teaches us to rely on God, I spoke of leaning into God more with our lives, and coming to a place of faith where - like Horatio Spafford who penned the words to the hymn "It is Well" - we can truly know that all is well in ever circumstance that we face. I shared how understanding the promise we have in God is important in order to find the hope that enables us to trust. Lastly, I shared that God only has good in mind for us and that though difficult things happen, it is never His plan to hurt us - he truly only has good in mind for us at all times.

So last night when after two days of pain my wife and I came to terms with the fact that she had to get to a dentist immediately I began to worry. Of course I was up all night trying to figure out how in the world I would pay for this. How will I cover what could be an enormous expense?

This morning I still had not put my worry to rest and I was frantically trying to figure out a solution - truth be told I still don't know the solution. I do know that my wife is feeling better after getting an emergency dental procedure that she needed. I am grateful that the procedure was done and that it didn't cost as much as I thought it might.

What I do know is that in the midst of my worry and scrambling - I heard that still small voice in my ear whispering "how much time do you add to your life by worrying?" (cf Matt 6:27) In that moment I felt as if God was saying - "go take care of your wife - get her cared for and I will do the rest."

So we took her in, she is doing much better and I feel at peace knowing that she is well - I also know in my heart of hearts that it will be well and God will figure out where the funds are coming from to pay for her care. After all - look at the birds of the air - they do not toil, right? (Matt. 6)

In our learning to trust God with our lives - we must never forget that each day we need to take one step closer and closer to trusing Him with our whole being. No matter what circumstances arise in our lives - we must not lose sight of our goal of being in complete union with God. If we are to achieve this union than indeed we must first work towards complete reliance.

I Only Have Good in Mind for You

This is Part Five in my series on Trust - please read the rest of the posts here:

Part One - "Waking Up to our Need for God"
Part Two - "Lean Into God"
Part Three - "It is Well"
Part Four - "Understanding God's Plan"

I Only Have Good in Mind for You
If there is any obstacle to our trust in God that is universal it is that we struggle with trusting in His love for us. For some this struggle comes from their own insecurities, for others this struggle comes from their life experience of not being able to trust their parents or others in their lives, for others it is a lack of trust that comes from their experience with the Church growing up. Either way this lack of trust in God's love will undoubtedly eat away at us and in time our faith in God, ourselves, and others will decay.

The great lie that Satan has been telling us since the fall of man is that God is holding out on us, that he is hiding something from us, that he is using us, that he doesn't really care, that he wants us to suffer, that he likes seeing us struggle, and the list goes on. Picture the scene in the Garden of Eden. How did the serpent get Eve to eat the apple? The same way he gets us to sin or to stop trusting God’s will in our lives. By placing doubt there, by making us question God’s love for us.

I can imagine the conversation:

“So Eve, I see you are eating of the fruit of all of these trees but that one. Why don’t you try the fruit on that tree? It looks so good.”

Eve replies, “Because Adam said that God told us not to eat of the tree of knowledge. So we don’t eat of that one, but we can eat everything else.”

Here comes old slimy again, “How do you know that God told Adam that? Are you sure Adam is telling the truth? And even if he is telling the truth, why do you think God would want you not to eat of that tree?”

Eve retorts uncomfortably, “Well because he said it wouldn’t be good for us
to…”

Cut off by the serpent, “I see, God doesn’t want you to have it all, he doesn’t want you to be truly happy. He knows that this tree is the one that gives you power, and control, and enjoyment. I mean Eve you agree that the fruit on that tree does look really, really, really, really delectable right?”

“Well, it does look pretty good.”

“Then why would God not let you eat of it, I mean he does want you to be happy right? He does want you to enjoy things, and you agree that this fruit looks so good. The only thing I can think is that God doesn’t truly love you. If he truly loved you he wouldn’t hold out on you, he wouldn’t keep you from true enjoyment.”

And with that sin entered the world.

Man has been falling into this same trap ever since. It is our doubt in God’s true and undying love for us that causes us to mistrust him and to sin. It is the basic human condition. I can see it already in my daughter. She is only seventeen months old and yet she can’t fathom why I don’t want her to have my coffee. She’ll shout, “Hot!” but then she still reaches out for it and whines for it. I can imagine her thoughts,

“If it isn’t good for me to have then why do you and Mommy seem so happy when you are drinking it, and why are you pining for coffee the rest of the day when you don't drink it?”

Are we not the same with God?

Why can’t I have this?
Why can’t I do that?
Why don’t you let me have fun?
Why do I have to struggle?
Why am I so broke?
Why can’t I get that job?

Yet God is crying out in answer to us, “I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU! I want only good for you. I have only good things in mind for you.” When we doubt God we mistrust his love for us, we mistrust his desire for our good. Even most of our sin has to do with mistrust of God’s love for us. Since sin is basically nothing more than taking what we want rather than receiving the gift that God has for us.

Since that very moment of the fall, God has been desperately trying to join man back to himself. Look all through scripture and you will find a God saying, I love you, TRUST IN ME!

Today look at your relationship with God and your life. Are you truly trusting in His will, in His plan? Do you truly believe in your heart of hearts that God has only good in mind for you?

Understanding God's Plan

This is part four in my series on Trust. You can read the previous posts by clicking on their titles here:

Part One: Waking Up to our Need for God
Part Two: Wake Up and Lean Into God
Part Three: It is Well

Excerpt from Part 3:

"Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say, it is well, it is well, it is well,with my soul."

This is the level of trust to which we are each called. It is a trust that brings great freedom in our lives. When we can truly give it all over to God, even in the middle of great pain and suffering, then we can be free to live a life of joy.

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God's Promise
In order to have this kind of faith in God we must first understand God's promise for us. We must understand that our God is a God of love, a God who loved the idea of you and I so much that he created us out of love. He created us not for his own musing, but for our own good. He envisioned our lives and saw that it was good. Indeed God created us for a purpose.

There is of course much debate about the idea of a Creator. First, let me say that it really doesn't matter how you believe the earth was created. Whether there was some form of evolution, a big bang, or God was literally forming us like clay in his hands, it doesn't really matter. All that matters is that we understand He created us for a purpose.

We are not accidental beings. If we were accidents, then we would not have a purpose, which would mean that we would not strive for anything. Deep down we each know that there is a purpose to our lives and that in itself proves that we are not some accidental creation. If we just happened by chance then our lives would just happen by chance and we would live without any hope for more. Certainly there are people who don't feel like they have a purpose, they may have given up on finding their purpose in life, but I have yet to meet such a person who is not unhappy or depressed. Why is that? Because deep down they know they do have a purpose and they know they are missing out on something.

God created us out of love. He created each of us with unique gifts, talents, dreams, and desires. His love for us is so great that he will never give up on us. In fact His love is so great that he didn't give up on us already. God's plan for humanity was that we would be in union with him in the garden. That our lives would be full of joy, peace, fulfillment and creativity.

Out of love for us he gave us free-will. Our free-will allows us to make choices, both good and bad. It allows us to love or hate. Obviously God understood that we could possibly fail at this, and we have. But in his faithfulness he never turned his eyes away from us. All through salvation history we see the story of God trying to join man back to himself. He went so far as to send His Son Jesus to walk among us and die for us on the Cross. God's plan hasn't changed. He still intends for us to walk in union with him. He made us to be one with him.

That is where our true joy lies, in complete union with God. Saint Iraneaus said, "The Glory of God is man fully alive." How true this is. We are the crowning jewel of God's creation and he is pleased with all that he made us to be. Our fulfillment is glorifying to God. It is God's desire that we find fulfillment and lasting joy and peace here on earth so that ultimately we may one day be reunited with him in Heaven.

In John 10:10, Jesus tells us that he "came that they might have life and have it more abundantly." This is God's desire for us. He has not destined us for a life of gloom and despair while on earth. We are not in some waiting room just biding our time on earth. God desires us to have life to the full, that we might use those gifts, talents, and desires that he has placed within us. Then God's ultimate plan will come to pass, that we will be united with him in heaven. This is the promise we have in God. Our faith is rooted in this very promise of God's undying love for us. It is through our faith in this promise that we find the joy and lasting peace that I spoke of earlier. When we take hold of this faith and begin calling on God's promise in our lives that we can begin to trust God to a point of knowing no matter the circumstance that "it is well."

Read Part Five in this series here: "I Only Have Good in Mind for You"

It Is Well

This is part three in my series on Trust. You can read the first two articles here:
Part One: Waking Up to our Need for God
Part Two: Wake Up and Lean Into God

At the end of Part Two I posed this question for you to reflect on:

If you woke up tomorrow and everything you had was gone, everyone you loved was no longer in your life, every part of your life that put a smile on your face was no longer there, would you still have joy in your heart, would you still have God's peace in your life, would you still know that despite all that you lost, despite any pain you may feel all will be well?

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I'm sure that for some of you that question may have put you off a bit. "All is well? How could all be well if I lost everything I ever loved? Joy in my heart? How could I have joy in my heart at such a time?"

Let me clarify for just a moment. First of all, joy and happiness are two very different things. Happiness is generally a feeling or emotion that we have in the midst of doing something enjoyable or when we hear a good joke or the like. Happiness is fleeting. I am not speaking of happiness when I speak of joy. Joy is something deeper, it is the deep seeded smile in our being that despite all obstacles all will be well. It is possible to be joyful and have sadness at the same time. Sadness too is more of a fleeting emotion, unlike despair which is also deep-seeded within us. So when I ask "would you still have joy in your heart?" I am not ruling out the fact that you will feel sadness and probably loneliness. But, would you still be able to find within you the joy and peace that belongs to those who trust in the Lord?

Let me illustrate with one of my favorite stories:
There was a wealthy business man in the 1800's named Horatio G. Spafford who by all accounts had it all. He had a beautiful family, a thriving business, expansive real estate holdings - by all standards - life was good. Then his son died at a young age. Just as his life seemed to be getting back to normal, he lost most of his real estate including his home to the great Chicago fire of 1871. All he had built and worked for was gone in only days. As if that wasn't enough, a couple years later he and his family were set to sail to England for a vacation. At the last minute he was required to stay behind for a few days to tie up a business transaction. His wife and four daughters traveled ahead and he was to meet them later. On their journey the ship carrying his wife and daughters collided with another vessel. The telegram that his wife sent to him read, "Saved Alone." His daughters were killed in the tragic accident.

Imagine for a moment the horror of this news. This man had literally lost everything. While he was on a ship to meet his wife, he passed by the point where his daughters had been killed, in that moment Spafford penned these words.

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

What a powerful witness to God's grace in our lives when we trust in him. One may wonder how Spafford could have such a willingness to trust that all would be well despite what he had been through. That willingness to trust comes from a place of faith. Spafford knew already that this life was not all that there was for him or his family. He knew that God's promise was still true and he knew that despite the personal pain and suffering he had been through, Christ's love and sacrifice were proof that "it is well" indeed.

Spafford knew in his heart of hearts that there was still more grace and more glory to this life. This is not to say that there were no tears, I'm sure Spafford suffered greatly from these tragedies. Still, his faith had taught him that there was more to this life, that despite the pain and sorrow of his life God's promise was still great and heaven was still waiting."Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say... it is well, with my soul."

Picture for a moment the worst tragedy in your life. Picture a time in which something horrible happened in your life that you were not expecting. It could have been the loss of a parent or grandparent, the sudden death of a loved one in a car accident, or the loss of your home in a natural disaster. Most of us have never experienced the catastrophic loss of multiple children, or the devastation of a massive fire. However, we've all experienced tragedy in one way or another. Now picture yourself back there in the midst of that tragedy. No matter what it was. Picture yourself standing in the midst of it all and saying with heartfelt conviction:

"Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say, it is well, it is well, it is well, with my soul."

This is the level of trust to which we are each called. It is a trust that brings great freedom in our lives. When we can truly give it all over to God, even in the middle of great pain and suffering, then we can be free to live a life of joy.




Read Part Four of this series "Understanding God's Plan" here.

Wake Up and Lean Into God

This is part two in my series on "Trust" You can read part one here "Waking Up to our Need for God".

We have learned to accept exterior comfort in place of internal peace of heart and mind. I know it in myself. It seems I pray pretty darn well when I am in need of something. Boy I can pray when I'm trying to stretch that paycheck just a little further than it can go. But, when I have a little extra to throw around I find I don't have so much time for prayer. Why is that? - From "Waking Up..."

Since September 11, there have been even more tragedies, the Tsunami in Asia, Hurricane Katrina, the shootings at Virginia Tech, the bridge collapse in Minnesota. How many more wake up calls will we need before we realize that while we can do it our way, we must first lean into God a little more.

I do not believe that we have a punishing God and I certainly do not believe that God intended for these events to happen. Our God is a God of love, he would never perform such an evil act on his people. However, I do believe that he uses events in our lives to work in us. When we say all things happen for a reason it is not to say that all things were planned, good or bad. God did not plan for us to sin, he did not plan for wars, he did not plan for Katrina, or September 11, or my Grandpa's heart attack. His perfect plan was for us to live perfect lives in union with him.

Since sin entered the world however, we have lots of consequences to deal with and tragedy is one of them. So, while God must allow events to take course in order to preserve our free-will, he does write straight with crooked lines. Through the aftermath of these tragedies God tugs at our heartstrings, he calls us home to him. We must learn to trust in him through all things, good or bad. We must remember that his love surpasses all things and that we need him in our lives, no matter how good things may or may not be.

There are many people who lost everything in these disasters, they lost people they loved, they lost money, they lost their homes. For many, they literally had nothing left. What these tragedies seem to do for us is to remind us that we are fragile beings and that we need God no matter what, for indeed the good and the bad in life will pass. If our trust is in God, then do we find joy in the midst of all that we struggle through.

It reminds me of a question I often ask people to reflect on during retreats. I would ask that you take a moment to read this question and then close your eyes while you reflect on it. Allow yourself to feel the weight of this question and the weight of your response, no matter what it is. There is no right or wrong answer to this question. It merely tells you where you are in your walk with God, so don't feel judged by what you think I want you to say, just allow yourself to honestly look inside:

If you woke up tomorrow and everything you had was gone, everyone you loved was no longer in your life, every part of your life that put a smile on your face was no longer there, would you still have joy in your heart, would you still have God's peace in your life, would you still know that despite all that you lost, despite any pain you may feel all will be well?

Read Part Three of this Series: "It is Well" here

Waking Up to our Need for God

I believe that if any lesson is to be gleaned from the tragedy of September 11, 2001 it is that no matter how much we have or how good our life is we need more than anything to cling to God. At the time I was working at Our Lady of Mount Carmel in Tempe, Arizona as the youth minister. I awoke to a roommate knocking at my door saying to get up, something horrible had happened.

Together the four of us along with a guest watched in horror as the towers fell. We all know the emotion of that day. Each time they repeated the footage of the plane entering the tower I felt a blow to my chest. Then we watched in utter horror as the towers each fell. With each image my heart and soul was pierced.

Our guest had arrived the night before in Arizona, he had moved from New York and this was how he spent his first day in his new home. For all the sorrow and pain that the rest of us felt, we could not help but hurt for him as he frantically called those closest to him only to find that phone service was cut-off. Without hesitation we all entered into prayer. On our knees we begged God's grace on this moment, for us, for our friend and those he loved back in New York, and of course for all of those who must have lost their lives. To this day I still ache when I see images of that day, or when I recollect memories of that day.

What a horrific event. It would be nearly impossible for anyone to watch that and not have their soul shaken about. It was a wake up call, a reminder. It was an event that would have us all checking ourselves and our lives a bit. There are countless stories of divorced couples who reevaluated their lives and got back together, family members who reconciled past differences, and countless people who came back to Church, at least for a time.

I recall the prayer service that our church held a day or two later. It was at lunchtime. We left the service open to the public. It was amazing, I would say there had to be well over 1500 people filling the Church which sat only about 1200. People were pouring in from all over. Many hadn't been to church in a very long time. Yet, the way people prayed would have made you think there was a revival going on. People prayed with everything they had. For the next month or so it seemed that attendance was up at most churches. People had woken up to their need for God, at least for a time.

That is the sad part, it was only for a time. It seems that it is easy to forget our need to trust in God. We are a nation of doers. We thrive on adversity and overcoming obstacles. The more we can succeed autonomously, the more we are praised for our victories. "I did it my way", goes the song and we love that song. We cheer as Sinatra bellows the final chorus, "I did it myyyyyyy wayyyy!"

What September 11, did for us as a nation was to wake us up to our need for God, Psalm 23, was sounding pretty good as we walked through that valley of death as a nation. Yet, that seemed to only last for a time. Once the stock market bounced back, businesses got to be booming again, and the unemployment lines got shorter we started singing our favorite old song again.

We have learned to accept exterior comfort in place of internal peace of heart and mind. I know it in myself. It seems I pray pretty darn well when I am in need of something. Boy I can pray when I'm trying to stretch that paycheck just a little further than it can go. But, when I have a little extra to throw around I find I don't have so much time for prayer. Why is that?

[This post is the first in a series of posts I will be doing on Trust. Click here to read Part Two "Wake Up and Lean Into God".]

Handing Over the Spirit - TRUST

In prayer today I was trying to focus on the prayer and not what I was praying for. I was praying a Chaplet and kept losing my focus to worrying about what it was I was offering up. As I sat there losing my place for the fifth time I finally stopped and ask God why I can't focus.

I just want to trust God with everything; I want to hand it over and trust that he will take care of it all. But instead I'm sitting there thinking of solutions, figuring it out in my head while I recite the prayers. Why?

In truth I think it is because where the rubber meets the road when it comes to trusting God is in actually handing over our troubles one by one and actually letting go. This is what God desires of us in prayer. To hand it all over to him and let it be His concern. "Can any of you by worrying add a single moment to your life-span?" Matt 6:27

I began to think about Christ on the Cross in that moment of handing over His spirit and breathing his last. He had to actually hand over his spirit; he had to lay it down. He had to trust that His Father would not fail Him.

I think about that in relation to my own struggles. I must hand each one over to God and die to it. Christ breathed his last and so too must I breathe my last breathe of concern and worry. I must give it over to Him and die to the worry - If I hand over my worry, my anxiety about one thing or another - I must like Christ say "into your hands Lord I commend my spirit." Not so I can pick it back up later. Often I think we pray, and then we go to work trying to solve this or that. Or we pray and let it go only to wake up in panic the next day continuing to worry. Rather, what we ought to do is breathe our last concern over that matter, hand it over to the Father through Christ's Divine Mercy and allow Him to do the rest. In a sense we are waiting for a "resurrection" of that concern/worry/situation.

This is a difficult task and one that must happen over and over again, as new situations rise in our lives and we hand them over one by one dying to our worry a little more each day. Each time we do this His infinite Grace and Mercy fill that place in our hearts and goes to work in our lives.

Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, truly present in the Holy Eucharist, I place all my trust in you.


I offer this simple prayer to help you in handing it over to Christ.

A Prayer of Trust
Father, into your hands I commend my spirit; my human weakness, my frailty, my anxiety and fear. Into your hands Lord I commend __________________ (list a concern or burden). I die to this worry in full trust and confidence that your mercy and grace are sufficient for me and that just as your Son rose from the grave you will resurrect this situation in my life.

Another prayer from the Divine Mercy Novena:

Eternal God, in whom mercy is endless and the treasury of compassion —
inexhaustible, look kindly upon us and increase Your mercy in us, that in
difficult moments we might not despair nor become despondent, but with great
confidence submit ourselves to Your holy will, which is Love and Mercy itself.

If you haven't prayed the Divine Mercy Chaplet I encourage you to pray it regularly to help you in this dying to your worries and concerns. You can find it here.

All is Well in 2009

The reports are in. It is only going to get worse. The sky is falling and the boy is crying wolf. I've been amazed at how gloomy the already despairing news media has gotten. Pull up any popular news site or web portal and you'll see the reports.

Here we are entering into a new year, a new opportunity, a fresh start, and we've already gone and dumped on it. Why? Because our blessed stocks aren't going to perform well? Because we are in fear for our jobs? Our retirement fund? Our savings accounts? Look, I understand those concerns. Perhaps you are someone who has lost your job recently and for you I pray. All of these concerns are valid and I completely get our worry when things don't look so great.

However, we seem to forget one thing. GOD HAS A GREATER PLAN THAN THIS. That's right, it may be that you lose your job this year, it may be that your stocks don't perform well and your 401k dumps more than it saves. I don't know what will happen for you this year but I do know that God is calling us to trust in HIM... not in our finances or our careers, or our material possessions.

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat [or drink], or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? Matthew 6:25 - 26

2009 can be the best year of your life. Even if you lose your job or if you do by some good fortune make a million dollars. However, it will not be the best year because of what you gain, earn, or save. It will only be the best year of your life if you make it an opportunity to trust in God more. To let him show you His plan for your life. It may be a different plan than yours, but I can promise you that it will be a greater plan then you could ever have imagined. So, give your finances, your marriage, your possessions, your children, your future over to Him and let Him do the worrying (Which by the way he doesn't worry, but you get the point.)

After all:

Look at the birds in the sky; they do not sow or reap, they gather nothing into barns, yet your heavenly father feeds them. Are not you more important than they? Matthew 6:26

Here's to a great 2009 for all those who place their trust in the Lord!